They say ur life passes before ur eyes when u die,im making mine worth watching

recap

Thu, 10 Aug 2006 21:41:32 GMT

long week what can i say - this past weekend sucked really bad - - saturday i didnt do much .. sunday - i went to the mass that was being held for robert sis vanessa, it was reallly beautiful. Monday i headed to work and the gym as usual, i saw brandon - thank god i didnt see eric (blah that boy makes me mad) - tuesday i went to rob's in the morning to drop off a card and gift for mrs. perez and had a good long hug with bob, funny - we cant stand each other when its a phone convo - or anything else, but when we are right in front of one another its kinda hard to be upset with each other. i was feeling pretty bad for him and for myself actually - he was missing his sister and i was missing tyler , so we both kinda new what we were feeeling. we just stood there in the freakin 100 degree weather and hugged for like 4 min. and said absolutely nothing . .until it got alittle to hot.lol. So today i had to head to panam to get my damn emergency loan . . school is so freakin expensive , i hate it. Ran into bob again and then got a phone call from mrs. perez thanking me for the card and gift and being such a great person to them and their son. Ahh she is one of the sweetest women i've ever met, i <3 bob's family <3 .

ash

:)

Sun, 18 Jun 2006 00:02:22 GMT

this has been an interesting week, tuesday i spent the early afternoon at roberts house, yes can you believe it - me and my ex are friends & we managed to hangout without hurting each other. it was rather fun and relaxing just there watching soccer and me beating up on him -hmm not much has changed..i went bowling last nite with eric, aw it was fun - today drama at work what can i say...i would write more but i gotta go workout..love ya bye

ash

IN YOUR DREAMS!

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 18:48:05 GMT

soo robert wants me to call him the next time im in edinburg..i wonder why ? hahah. of course i know why, i think i talked about it in the entry before this one. lol. So should i, hmmmm..tough call, do i miss him? do i want to do something with him? hmm...im going to edinburg tuesday night. But you know what...I dont miss him that much and he wasnt that great in well..you get the picture ..lol..so NAH! hahaha! SO SORRY BABY > > your old NEWS! SO go screw all those god awful uglyass girls you get an easy lay with, cause you aint getting shit from this one..plus im wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy out of your league, go back to your trashy type, you know which ones, the ones you always talk shit about being hoes then go screw them..yeah those, go catch something. Lmao. cause this girl is TOP CLASS. KAY. Bye :)

talk dirty to me

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 04:32:28 GMT

my ex bf r.p likes to talk dirty to me late at night ;) . . . haha, too funny hun :)

ash

they say your life passes before your eyes when you die, im making mine worth watching..

Fri, 02 Jun 2006 18:46:02 GMT

whhoa...i havent written in this thing in like forever and a day . . anyways, life is going great as we speak..some slips here and there ;) - -but thats is where all the fun begins. I saw staind in concert, great concert, had the ex right in back of me acting like a complete idiot but thats what he's always done best. Probresito, he really let himself go - im happy i've moved up and on. right now im working on a paid internship with Hidalgo Isd with the PR program , 11 bucks an hour not bad what so ever. My first paycheck was $780 for just 3 weeks. ;) Jr and i are sooo close now cause we are "both down" i cant wait to go visit him in these next two weeks to see his new casa ;) AL brought me a shirt from the George strait concert, yes he loves me i know it..why cause he told me.haha, major crush - but i just like him as a friend, as i do .. randy, eric, manny & chris. lol. my love life as we speaks rocks. . im being showered with gifts left and right and i dont even know why. lol. yay~ i lost 10lbs..yes yes, i've been working my assssssssssssssssss off 5x a week at the gym with my trainer robert whose sooo super hard on my ass and i love him for it. my hair is lighter than usual and my tan i got from the beach last week couldnt look better. over all my life is going great, im healthy, my family is great and healthy...im truly blessssed. PLUS! i love my friends.. <3 - - Mari, Mel, Sam, Jess1, jess2, Sarah <3

he <3's me and i <3 him

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 20:27:03 GMT

yup. its nice having a handsome new guy that treats you like a queeeeeeen . blue eyes and blonde have always been my favorite and now i have just that..he's too being taken <3

ash

Fri, 13 Jan 2006 06:19:23 GMT

so i gave my two weeks notice today at American Eagle...i dont really think i wanna step foot in the mall for about a month or so. I went to the hockey game today , i love my daddy..he spoils me with the bestest seats in the house and all the food we want :) = Chad was suppose to go with me, but baseball practice came between that .. but tomorrow will be better for sure ;) - So the ex wrote me an email sayin he wants to be friends and wanted to know what i thought about that....i wrote back "i think your full of shit" , havent heard from him since. haha * omg - im retarded , like poor boy honestly .. i think he's confused, even worse poor gf of his . i'd hate to have a bf who cheats on me and have everyone else know but me. Its retarted. Plus , sorry to say .. he isnt gettin any better lookin w. age , yes i know he's gone through alot..but he's always judging people or commenting on looks, but who is he to say..i mean comeon . . plus , not to sound conceited or anything..but im wayyyyyyyyyyy to good for him .. and he knows it & i know it . So he can stick to his little group of friends , cause this girl is isolating herself from the dramatic hs shit. I've grown up , and i've changed alot this year. . my appearance, my fashion has changed...i've been having gREAT luck w. guys. Fashion wise , i noticed if you feel to dress bare to get attention .. . thats sad. I 've never been one to dress like that , i guess thats just the old fashion girl in me. Im much more perserved now, i cover up and dress casual yet classy. It seems to drive the men wild. ;) = im gonna have like alot of valentines this feb ;) - ooppppsss.s...door bell ringing..will be continued...

ash

Ups and down of Fall Semester

Mon, 12 Dec 2005 20:51:41 GMT

Rot in Hell Fall Semester. So recap of this semester and up and downs that followed.

Ups: Met the guy im thinkin about being w. for a long time.
Down: Had two classes w. the ex
Ups: This was the semester of good luck w. boys
Down: wasnt the semester to get good grades
Up: "when you get older you find out its less important to have more friends and more important to have real ones" LOVE YOU GIRLS
Down: made my ex cheat on his "perfect" gf, that he loves..riiight.ooops (did i mention it was with me) Ps. It was all Him ;) - I was the victim . oh well. Wait should this be an up? No wait. I didnt make him do anything, he did it on his own..like i said, it was his idea ;)
Up: lost 10lbs.
Down: Slowing gaining them back
Up: saw Brooks N dunn in concert
Down: didnt go w. whom i wanted too..
Up: Skipped school to go to the beach. .. "winter at the beach"
Down: Aaron Pissed me off over there
Up: But i did get in the freezin ocean w. just my undies and bra ;)
Down: realized, i had no extra clothes...hahah
Up: Semester is almost over
Down: Here comes another one.
Up: Changed my major to Journalism / Public reations
Down: Still minoring in marketing.
Up: Xmas is coming
Down: the guy in Up # 1 is going home for Xmas
Up: but will be back soon
Down: Just wont be here w. me during xmas.
Up: Holidays are always fun
Down: when you have someone you love w. you
Up: Tis the season for my excess shopping to occur
Down: i've just bought presents for myself ..oopps
Up: Im finishing this little survey
Down: cause if i dont, i'll never stop ....

Love Ya

ash

holy crap! lol < 3 < 3 < 3 <3

Sat, 03 Dec 2005 15:41:04 GMT

So last night i went on a date, yes a date..lol. Chad and I went to go watch "Just Friends" and then went golfing afterwards..aww i had the greatest time in the freakin world. We named my new stuffed animal Dusty ;) - just like his car <3 /// Ha * I feel all giddy inside...but whyyy ? DUH!

ash

stone me to death if you please

Fri, 02 Dec 2005 22:42:32 GMT

so i've found that not being in a relationship/talking/dating/being together/whateveryouwanttocallit with anyone is the best thing for me. At this moment I don't have any drama, any paranoia, or fucking little butterflies interrupting my daily routine. i feel good about everything so far.

maybe the reason i feel so good is because i had one of the best days ive had in a long while...or possibly ever.

<3 Ash

Next wednesday..Beach w. Aaron, awww "love" is a sweet catastrophe <3

Brooks And Dunn before pic ;)

Thu, 01 Dec 2005 23:54:35 GMT

So the concert was great, short but great. I went w. Oscar but saw Randy and Louie there also..Awww Louie caught two drum sticks :( - - i was soo sad, but he said he was going to give me one..so now im happy :) = = we Texted each other all through the concert, and by the time the night was over, so was my battery. LOL. It was all good. School on the other hand couldnt be going worse, well this semester at least..i had to quick fix it and change my major to journalism, still minoring in marketing. Classes w. "EL Ex" are actually prettty darn good. We havent fought. LOL. well i try to fight w. him, but his streak of kindness towards me just worsens my guilt trip . So im gonna be nice, due to the Holidays being right around the corner and all. The Love life, well what can i say, there is nothing stranger about the word "LOVE" , so i might as well refer it to my Strange Love life, things are going good, although im torn between a few. .. lol.. Well im young, and a girl can have her fun to ;) . Im going to the beach on wednesday w. one of my cute crushes Aaron ;) - yes we are going to ditch school and go have ourselves a good time. I hope at least. Other than that, its workout time .. im so proud of myself, i've been running 4 miles every day. ;) - - im telling you girls, looking good is the best revenge if you ever wanna get back at an Ex or any boy in general. Love you all.

Ash

change is color ;)

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 01:27:53 GMT

so i guess everytime my mood changes so does my hair color. Black is in ;)

"Looking Good ..Is the Best Revenge" ;)

Ash

guys and their stupid ways... :P

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 05:08:15 GMT

i called it before it even started. im becoming immune to heartbreak. last time give me 2 weeks. this time give me 1 week, ill be good then. soon ill be taking them day by day...can't be too good on the immune system.

its funny how you can think someone has changed so much and then you realize they are still exactly the same. im losing faith in guys. they all want the same thing. it gets old. you hear the same lines and the same shovinistic characteristics in each one. do i just send out that vibe? the 'give me those pervy dudes that just want some ass!' vibe? because if so, i quit.

everytime i do something its always hanging over my head. its been there the whole time, but i just can't see it. pessimistic, definitely. maybe its just that i dont want it to work.

Dreams and the Lack of them... </3

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 21:25:43 GMT

i can't stand the tension now. everytime i listen to..any song. i think about it. every song describes every situation. every word spoken is recited in each song.

lacking dreams hasn't been anything new, the new part is that every night recently, i dream of you...and i hate it. its impossible to forget something and move on when it haunts you in your dreams every night.

-AsH

i was a bad girl, but oh was i good at it ;)

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 05:03:30 GMT

"is it still me that makes you sweat, am i who you think about in bed' ;) - *U do now* -in

Okay * school officially sucks * im doing soo bad, its soo weird...although, in the love department, i cant complain..and its not that i want a serious relationship right now because well...honestly, im no where near ready.! im still in love w. ty although he's gone. but hmmmz, i've meet quite a few keepers and doing things that are really out of the norm for me actually! and well i like it! Kind of. last thrusday i did something bad (in a good way/bad way) with someone i hadnt done anything with in like almost 2 yrs. Why it happened? i have no earthly idea. can i say weird. can i say, i knew i was on his mind all this semester..yes i can ;) - but back to it being weird. . .it was, one because i've never ever ever been the other girl, nor will i ever again! why it happened like that...what can i say ? shit happens, right rikko. lol ..am i proud of it? what can i say...Shit happens? Right JR..LoL. i guess it was something that was pending..im not sure if it was suppose to happen, it wasnt worth happening..but then again i dont regret it in the least, but then i think about it and it ment absolutely nothing to me. Weird! well weird in a good way. funny how time changes people, how people change people, and how you think someones feelings for you are gone .. then later find out they are stronger then they've ever been. Anyways * on thrusday i went to the Hootie and the blowfish concert with Rikko and Diego! Two of the freakin BESTEST DATES EVER! I had the mostest fun with them. rikko was drunk / diego looked too cute,, and i was in between, enjoying everything that came my way. BOY! its been a long time since i actually wrote in this thing. I got that facebook thingy and what can i say! drama all freakin over again...ayy no, some things never change..so im gonna kinda pull away from that area. Myspace is boring.i get on like once every 4 days. ..lol.. i guess its better just to actually talk to your real friends about it .. or actually see them ...then depend on them to leave you some random comment.

iT`s juSt s0methinG tHat haPPenS as y0u gr0w uP. y0u reaLize it`S leSs imp0rtant 2 haVe m0re fRienDs & it`S m0re imp0rtant 2 Have ReaL onEs .

ASH

so weird

Mon, 24 Oct 2005 21:57:18 GMT

okay schools a bitch, things are really weird now with the ex bf and having our management and accounting classes together..we havent fought, which is surprising..but its the little things that are really weird, like his constant habit of having to touch me or play with my hair..then the stares..ugh* i hate when people stare, its weird, he'll just stare at me for like ever til i look back at him. i dont know what is going on . . i mean i like us being friends, but huh* friends dont do that..either do ex bf and gfs..lol but of course we do, why causes its allllllllwayyyys weird between him and i. Its the story of our life, everyone is our classes keeps asking me "so whats up with you and bob" // ugh! NOTHIng!

ash

random

Tue, 06 Sep 2005 01:16:58 GMT

fun with samatha :)

So my First Day of School ... . . interesting

Sat, 27 Aug 2005 04:04:39 GMT

OKay well today was my first day of school, yah i know it started on a friday for me. lol. Sucks! So 1st class : Finance = Yuck Yuck Yuck , class is full but major plus i know about three people in there, so i can borrow their book. 2nd class: Bus. CaL, can i say hard! F*CK! i hate math..and anything that has to do with it. 3rd class: Managerial Accounting : First problem starts with a B and ends with a B with a O smack dab in the middle of it, spell it out..the dreaded EX. yes, again. But it wasnt so bad today, we are not sitting that close together..and our teacher is weird and posting pictures of us on the internet. LOL* 4th Class: Lets spell out that name again, yes again! lol. i guess its okay, i mean im hoping he buys the book and i can leach off oh him, but our plan for this semester is to try to get along and help in each other out, meaning i do all the work right ? ?..WRONG! hell no. lol. I have no hot guys in any of my classes so they are all crappy and boring and dramatic. lol. I had lunch with Mel today at Logans and well we have a Date on Monday in Reynosa . ;) - i had to work today :( = i dont think i want to work anymore. Plus, im tired so im going to bed, this entry was all choppy and unorganized, but its okay * THATS THE WAY I LIKE IT!

ash

fun fun fun

Thu, 18 Aug 2005 04:35:04 GMT

Fun At Janessa's :)

Progreso Memories
Mich and I feeling pretty damn buzzed around this time

cristina and i before our Margaritas ;)

Mon, 08 Aug 2005 05:21:08 GMT

Fun Times with my ole' friends :)

Tue, 19 Jul 2005 16:13:26 GMT

So anyways, ive noticed that lately i dont want bad news. ive reached a point in my life that i dont want to hear the negative. i dont want to hear the pain and the failures. i dont want to be brought down. is that wrong? is it wrong to not want to be disappointed anymore? is it natural? i dont want to have to go through the pain. sometimes i think that i dont even want to know the outcome. it will hurt too much. i just want to go along thinking everything is ok, that everything is alright. but thats not life...life is disappointment after disappointment. i guess you have to learn the time to stand up and be a man.

i miss you so much :'(

Mon, 04 Jul 2005 04:11:49 GMT

i miss him </3 love, ash

things change

Wed, 22 Jun 2005 02:08:56 GMT

i want to hang out with new people, i want to have a crush, i want to get those butterflies all over again. i miss it. but people let you down, they never fail in that sense. then again i let myself down. im not as outgoing as i want, im not as energetic as i want, i want everyone to like me, im not who i want to be, im not with who i want to be with. theres just so much more to experience and i feel like im going nowhere. i want to move to california by the beach, that will take care of my problems. and then ill learn how to surf and meet a hot surfer and we'll fall madly in love with each other and have wild hot sex on the beach...haha j/k. i also want a high paying job that gives me great hours.

ash

Stress

Mon, 13 Jun 2005 22:01:56 GMT

The defintion of Stress: The confusion created when ones mind overrides the bodys desire to beat or choke the living $hit out of some @$$hole or bitch who desperately needs it.....

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Sun, 12 Jun 2005 01:18:35 GMT

i changed my hair color again... it seems as if there are going to be alot of changes going on in my life from here on out.</3

ash

I had a friend For many years One tragic night he died The saddest time of my life For weeks and weeks I cried Through the anger and through the tears I've felt his spirit through the days I'd swear, He's watching me Guiding me through hard times

I feel it once again It's overwhelming me His spirit's like the wind The angel guarding me Oh, I know, oh, I know He's watching over me

We shared dreams like all best friends We met at the age of ten We lived reckless, he paid the price But why? Why did he have to die? It still hurts me to this day Am I selfish for feeling this way? I know he's an angel now Together we'll be someday

I love you still <3